Social Anxiety News

Absolute Statements? Absolutely Not!

Published by aco on Wed, 05/08/2013 - 14:48

Our brains take in whatever we feed them.  So, we need to stay away from "absolutes": never, can't, always, hate, wouldn't, couldn’t.  If you say "I can never make any progress" your brain hears this and will eventually believe it.  If you say "I always make a fool of myself" your brain hears that and eventually believes it, searching out ways to make your words come true.  As those words come true, you fall further down into the anxiety trap. 

Improving Our Self-Talk

Published by aco on Thu, 04/25/2013 - 11:18

While someone else may have started our automatic negative thinking, it is now a part of us and we are the only ones who can do anything about it.  Now that these belief systems are part of our daily thinking process, do you realize that you are recycling irrational things about yourself over and over and over again?  Then, are you surprised when we "believe" these things even more strongly?  Our self-talk needs to change.  You can't get better if you keep putting yourself down and telling yourself you can't do things.

Chip Away Anxiety

Published by aco on Thu, 04/18/2013 - 12:46

Chipping away at anxiety every day -- working against it gently and slowly -- is the course of action that leads to permanent change.  We should chip away and dent social anxiety from every side and from every perspective -- in all situations.  If we do this little by little, by choosing the easiest situations as we move forward, and as we don't give up -- social anxiety shrinks and shrinks and shrinks.  Attempting to take too big of a step, or flooding yourself, does not work and will only lead to setbacks. 

Catching Irrational Thoughts

Published by aco on Wed, 04/10/2013 - 11:03

Notice irrational thoughts and beliefs, label them for being liars, and gently dismiss them. Find something proactive to do and you are staying on track for overcoming social anxiety. Noticing when you are having these irrational beliefs during the day may be the hardest part of this, so keep reading over "The ANTs Handout" every day in slow talk so that your brain understands this more and more deeply: The more our ANTs thoughts are in control, we are doomed to live with social anxiety.

A Starting Point

Published by aco on Wed, 03/13/2013 - 10:37

The journey toward overcoming social anxiety must start at the beginning -- at square one.  Once you get started properly, anxiety gets easier and easier to handle.  In our therapy groups, we break things up into smaller pieces so that we can learn things faster (and do them sooner).  It is surprising when you've felt anxious all your life about something, that you can learn to calm yourself down and do something like introduce yourself with only a little anxiety.  Thankfully, the fact is that you can learn how to do it in a short period of time, if done in the right way.

Distract Yourself from Negative Thoughts

Published by aco on Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:54

Here are two distractions that will keep you away from the most difficult negative ANTs thinking:  physical exercise and singing.  Both of these distractions HAVE to work because they physiologically affect the brain and STOP the automatic negative thoughts temporarily.  You may need to get away from the ANTs for 30 minutes (by use of any distraction that works) so it has time to work and to quiet down your anxious thoughts and feelings.

Be Fair, Don't Compare

Published by aco on Mon, 03/11/2013 - 12:08

Please remember that comparisons always lead us in the wrong direction.  We pick out someone we think is better than us...and then come to the realization that we're not as good as them.  That, of course, is not rational. STOP all comparisons.  YOU are you.  You can get better.  You can change.  You can make different decisions. You can learn to be happier.  All of these positive qualities are already inside you ... in overcoming social anxiety, we just need to bring them out one by one, naturally and gently, and allow them to be used practically in real-life situations.

Therapy Reminders

Published by aco on Fri, 03/08/2013 - 10:55

Overcoming social anxiety involves putting the cognitive strategies into place (behaviorally) in your life at work, school, home, social situations, etc.  One tip to help you remember to USE the strategies instead of letting anxiety take control, is (for example) writing "ST" -- for slow talk -- on anything you will see many times throughout the day. You can write it on notebooks, your desk drawer, the mirror in the bathroom, an index card for your pocket, your purse, or in the car.  Get creative with this.

Keep Small Talk Small

Published by aco on Thu, 03/07/2013 - 10:02

We put too much pressure on ourselves when we are in conversations.  There’s really no need for this.  Instead, we should focus outwardly and listen to the other person, and then we need to get rid of the irrational ideas that we must be funny, interesting, and/or entertaining.  You are just making small talk.  No one else is worried about telling funny stories.  Maybe you are trying too hard to gain the other person's approval?  You don't need to do this. 

Boxed in by Anxiety

Published by aco on Wed, 03/06/2013 - 10:26

Feeling Stuck?

Changing Neural Pathways

Published by aco on Tue, 03/05/2013 - 14:56

Your brain is accustomed to feeling socially-anxious. The neurons and chemicals used by the brain have been used for a long time and are habituated (i.e., have become a habit).  Even though social anxiety is a painful emotion to live through, the brain still finds comfort in using the same neural pathways and the same neurochemicals it feels accustomed to.

Don't Fear Mistakes

Published by aco on Mon, 03/04/2013 - 10:31

Sometimes we forget that, as human beings, we ALL make mistakes.  We also think that making mistakes is terrible, awful, and will bring negative attention to us.  This is simply not true.  People are not judgmental of mistakes, since they make mistakes all the time, too.  If you are alive and have a life, you're going to make mistakes.  That's how life itself works.

Dealing with Setbacks

Published by aco on Fri, 03/01/2013 - 09:50

Experiencing a setback is, unfortunately, a normal part of overcoming social anxiety disorder.  However, the good news is you can't have a setback unless you've made some kind of progress.  How to prevent and stop setbacks should be an integral part of any therapy program for social anxiety.  When you start to feel down (usually as a result of experiencing anxiety unexpectedly), catch yourself as quickly as you can.

Avoid Repeating the Past

Published by aco on Thu, 02/28/2013 - 10:20

Doing the exact same thing over and over again, which leads to more anxiety, is not a rational way to proceed.  This saying has been attributed to many people, especially to Albert Einstein.  It is very appropriate for overcoming social anxiety.  Many people do the same things over and over again...and hope for a different result, intent on "getting over" their anxiety.

When the Rational Becomes Rational

Published by aco on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 10:16

Some rational beliefs may be too hard to believe at this stage in your life.  You cannot FORCE what is rational to become a belief of yours automatically.  However, open your brain up to the idea that MAYBE (just possibly) this belief is true.  It may not be true now, but maybe in another month ... or another year ... it may be true.

Follow Dr. Richards

The Social Anxiety Association

The Social Anxiety Association is a non-profit organization founded in 1997 to meet the growing needs of people with social anxiety.  The SAA became inactive for several years due to lack of resources.  We are in the process of re-doing our website, listing all active, structured CBT groups for social anxiety, and renewing all our licenses.  Major changes will be happening by the end of 2013.  We publish new web content -- concerning social anxiety -- almost daily on the site now.

The Social Anxiety Institute is the largest website on the internet about social anxiety disorder (social phobia). Therapy programs have run at the Institute full-time since 1994.  Major new help for overcoming social anxiety is under development and will be introduced in 2013. 

For treatment: Overcoming social anxiety: Step by Step   A structured guide to overcoming social anxiety (a "How to" guide to get over social anxiety).

The Anxiety Network explains and describes five major anxiety disorders.

Guidelines for listing social anxiety groups on this site.  We cannot officially endorse groups, so check them out thoroughly.  We ask that they be groups that are operating, have a definite leader, and are thoroughly structured.  Social anxiety therapy groups are very different than the groups that operate for other mental health conditions.